There are numerous ways to approach behaviour which you find a problem but today I want to consider what might seem an extreme approach, which is sending someone out of the course – asking them to leave.
Just to recap a couple of points about ” difficult behaviour ” – firstly, it’s often your own perception that’s the problem.
What I mean by that is, let’s say someone isn’t saying anything or contributing to any discussions. Is that a problem? Maybe, maybe not. It might just be that the person is a reflective learner who doesn’t feel the need to say much. Or he or she may feel intimidated about speaking in front of a group.
It might be a problem for you if you want to get people talking and everyone happens to be this sort of learner. But you can get round it by changing the activity, getting people to work in pairs or small groups so they can contribute in a different way.
Similarly, if someone is talking a lot, they may just be the sort of person who needs to voice their ideas to think things through. It only becomes a problem if you need them to be quiet for a while, maybe to give others a chance to speak. Again, you can usually deal with this by changing the activity or even just having a quiet word with the person.
Secondly, in dealing with any behaviour, you have to balance the need to address it with the impact it might have on the group as a whole.
For example, if a couple of people are having a private conversation while you’re talking and everyone can see it, you have a choice. If you leave it, others may get the idea that it’s OK to do this. It might undermine your credibility if you let this sort of behaviour go unchallenged.
But if you handle it in the wrong way, it can cause you even more problems. If you’re too heavy – handed, if you’re sarcastic or if you make the people involved feel embarrassed, then the rest of the group might feel more sympathetic towards them and less supportive towards you. So you need to be very careful.
So, bearing those points in mind, is there ever any justification for sending someone out?
Well, here are some arguments against it to begin with.
Firstly, it might be seen as a sign of failure, that you couldn’t handle the situation.
Secondly, it might seem a bit like a teacher or a parent dealing with a naughty child rather than two adults.
Thirdly, it might be seen by the rest of the group as too harsh and turn them against you.
So are there any points in its favour? I think there can be. Here are three occasions when I think it might be worthwhile.
One – when someone is aggressive or abusive towards you or others in the group.
Two – when someone is ” toxic “, i.e. when they have a bad attitude towards the training ( or you ) which you can’t change and which is affecting everyone else, so you decide the group would be better off without them there.
Three – when someone is just in the wrong place. I’ve known people to be sent on courses by their line managers or Training Department which were just irrelevant or unsuitable for them. It was simply a waste of their time to be there.
This might happen because the person who sent them misunderstood what the course was about or who it was aimed at or hadn’t checked what other training the person had received beforehand.
In those situations, I think it would be justifiable to consider letting the person go.
Even so, you would need to be careful how you did it. You don’t need to do it in angry or threatening way, you can discuss the situation with the person and explain why you think it would be best for them to go. In the case of someone who is just on the wrong course, it may not be their fault and you should be seen as making them an offer because you’re concerned that they don’t waste their time.
Similarly, I wouldn’t suggest doing it in front of the group. Speak to the person in a break away from the others.
In any event, before you do this, you need to consider the impact on the rest of the group. You also need to check the relevant procedures ( for example, will their office or department still be charged for the course even though you’ve sent the person away? ). You need to make sure you actually have the authority to do this. And you need to inform someone else of what’s happening, partly to cover yourself, partly to make sure someone else knows that this person is no longer attending the course.
In all my years of training, I’ve never actually sent anyone away from a course, although I’ve discussed it with a few people, mainly because the course wasn’t right for them, not because of their attitude. I do think it’s a last resort but there are situations where it might be worth considering.
